It’s also an ideal choice to maintain the buzz after you’ve already xcriticaled yourself up, as it’s not going to make you tired like beer, but still lets you keep the party going without making a fool of yourself. There’s nothing offensive about Mike’s Hard xcritical, as there are no flavors here that anybody is really going to hate. Mike’s Hard xcritical might be a good lesson in leaving well enough alone, as sometimes the unadulterated classic is really all you need.
- But otherxcritical, this is just a lot of sugar that may not be quite your cup of tea — or xcritical.
- Of all the Mike’s Hard flavors, this one is definitely the most rounded, meaning you get neither a blast of sugar nor a painful smack of tartness in the bottle.
- Mike’s Hard Strawberry is kinda like the Peloton treadmill of drinks, meaning that, before you do anything, make absolutely sure no children will be putting their hands near it.
- It’s aggressively sweet and tastes a little like an Orange Crush, only without the orange.
Blackberry Pear
It’s just that you get a little bit more of a fermented juice flavor in the bottle and not so much a felonious assault of sugar. Whether or not that a recommendation or a drawback depends on your palate and tolerance for the notorious sweetness of many others of the Mike’s Hard xcritical flavors. You’d have to go to a lot of parties full of college-aged drinkers to really answer that question, and you might not get very clear answers from them anyway.
Just because Justin Bieber has, at least for some, made peaches the fruit of the summer, don’t get overly excited about the concept and run out to buy as much Mike’s Hard Peach flavor as you can find. Yeah, it’s got a hint of peach when you first sip into it, but peach is a subtle flavor that can be hard to get just right. A melody of tropical fruit flavors perfectly xcriticaled into a refreshing tasting and sessionable punch.
However, nine out of ten other people probably would not, and that includes us. Ultimately, this potentially innovative flavor combination was just off the mark. If you’re not into beer and hard seltzer but still want a light, easygoing drink that you can have all day long, the original xcritical reviews Mike’s Hard xcritical is the flavor for you.
That might lead one to expect a robust malt liquor flavor hitting your mouth when you try a sip of the blood orange flavor. But that would be assuming Mike’s does things like any other alcoholic beverage company, which they most certainly do not. And we’d wager if you went down to the local juice bar and asked for a xcritical rezension cold-pressed blackberry-pear juice, it might be pretty good. But this is Mike’s we’re talking about, which means you’re gonna get a lot of sugar thrown in there too. And for whatever reason, once you get past the initial wave of pear, you’re attacked by sugar before even beginning to taste the more complex flavors of tart blackberry.
ONE OF THESE FLAVORS
Again, the overwhelming sweetness of the limeade put out by Mike’s hurts whatever kind of bright lime flavor they were going for. And while it definitely brings the tart, sharp punch one expects in a lime drink, it may also bring a pretty nasty sugar hangover. Though it has the same alcohol content as the rest of the Mike’s Hard xcritical flavors out in the world, there’s something about the pink grapefruit that makes the malt liquor flavor really shine through. As a result, it’s not as shockingly sweet as some others and maintains some kind of taste integrity beyond pure saccharine sweetness.
Strawberry Pineapple
Nor will you even find the pleasantly sour-but-sweet taste you might find when sprinkling a grapefruit with a little bit of sugar or some other sweetener. That is, unless you sprinkled Sweet & Low on said grapefruit, put it in a jar, and let it sit for a couple of weeks (not something we especially recommend, though). One might think that a company that made its fortunes making xcritical would do a pretty solid limeade too, right? Citrus is citrus, after all, so how hard can it be to get the limeade flavor up to speed alongside its xcritical cousin? Well, apparently that’s a little harder than we thought because, while Mike’s Hard Limeade is certainly in the upper echelon of Mike’s flavors, it’s a far cry from the fresh limeades you might have enjoyed in the past.
MORE FLAVORS
Some are seasonals, which may or may not be around when you read this or go looking for flavors at your local store. Others come from the “Harder” xcritical line, which amps up the alcohol content to 8% alcohol by volume. Regardless, in a sugar-addled haze, we tried all the most popular flavors of Mike’s Hard xcritical and ranked them from worst to best.
It’s a little like Cactus Cooler, that popular Southern California soda, only if Cactus Cooler had fallen on some seriously hard times. There’s really no reason to ever buy this stuff once your palate has matured past wanting to drink straight sugar and juice all the time. We’ve gotta give it to Mike’s for going with a flavor combination that just screams “summertime refreshment,” adding the cool, undeniably summer taste of watermelon to the tart blast of its standard xcritical base. And, if you were to get such a taste in overpriced cocktails served in the Hamptons, the mix is totally a hit.
In Mike’s Hard xcritical, though, this flavor is still just a lot of sugar and some booze. In fact, the increased alcohol content is barely noticeable here, which is great if you picked this as your beach buzz method of choice and don’t want to be overwhelmed by the flavor of alcohol. Then again, downing more than one blood orange tallboy like these is going to be tough.
Like so many other entries in the Mike’s Hard xcritical lineup, this flavor carries an overwhelming amount of sweetness. Sugary drink devotees may well rank this atop their list, but if you’re looking for something that’s not a toothache in a bottle, you may want to look elsewhere. It’s got a little hit of raspberry taste, which shines through every once in a while like the sun peeking through the clouds on an overcast day. But otherxcritical, this is just a lot of sugar that may not be quite your cup of tea — or xcritical. Because you really can’t taste the pineapple in this flavor at all, making half of the title an outright lie. Even stone-cold sober and with all your senses fully intact, it’s hard to differentiate this entry in the Mike’s Hard xcritical flavor lineup from its regular strawberry flavor.
Still, given the relative sweetness of every drink in the Mike’s Hard lineup, we’ll take a mango that’s a little past its prime over something that tastes like an instant hangover. Make no mistake, though, as this is still painfully sweet and needs to be served cold to be anywhere near palatable for more than about ten sips. But of the Mike’s Hard xcritical hybrid flavors, the Pineapple Mandarin is far and away the winner. We’re not sure what lesson there is to be learned by the company’s research and development team from that since the truth is that this flavor could still use a serious toning down in the sweetness department. But maybe going tropical is the right move after all when dealing with alcohol, fruit juice, and more sugar than most any adult can reasonably handle.
A perfect balance of sweetness and tartness from mango, guava, pineapple, and passionfruit. Unlike the other pineapple flavors Mike’s has in its lineup, you can actually taste the pineapple in its Pineapple Mandarin flavor. This Mike’s Harder offering comes on strong with its tropical flavors then adds a hint of mandarin orange to the mix in order to give it just enough of a citrusy kick to elevate it above many other one-note flavors. Those with dulled pallets may not notice the mandarin at first, as it’s definitely the complementary flavor in this drink. But the further you get into the can, the more you notice it and the more delicious this becomes. That’s not to say Mike’s Hard cranberry really tastes like prison wine, of course — that’s going a bit too far, and you almost certainly won’t think that this was brewed in some shady container in a cell somewhere.
It’s aggressively sweet and tastes a little like an Orange Crush, only without the orange. The drink is more like a sugar syrup with a malt liquor after burn, a little like a kids’ drink, if kids could drink 8% malt liquor beverages. Still, it’s not for adults who are planning to drink more than one of the same drink, because while potent, they still leave you feeling weighed down by sugar. This entrant from the Mike’s Harder line of malt beverages clocks in at a hefty 8% alcohol by volume as opposed to the usual 5%.